March 16, 2010
12:33 am
Today I got an interview. It was anything but ordinary. A
panel interview via online network medium. I didn’t expect such interview to
happen. First, I earned a bad impression on the agency conducting the
interview. As I quote my past connection with the agency, I got some “unfinished
small conflict” that I still yet to clarify.
A brief history on my stay there: I was invited to join
Philippine Coconut Authority- Zamboanga Research Center around February of 2006
with the chief of the breeding and genetics division. First months I was
exposed to the coconut genebank and how rich it was in terms of coconut
collection. I recall imagining myself never before to get involve with a
perennial crop. Anyway, the center was just a stone’s throw away from my place,
so I stick with the flow. I got hired through several projects as Research
Assistant to Laboratory Aide II as a contractual employee. I remained that way
for 3 years and 8 months as far as I count. I got to experienced a lot of the
center’s operation but I was focused in dealing with the Molecular and Genetics
Laboratory that had really tried to keep up with the fast pace of molecular
technological advancement. Several occasion I got the chance to host programs
and organize a choir group that most of the time sings in almost all occasions.
Educational and business tours were conducted time to time with people coming
from all walks of life and with all ages to visit, learn and taste sweet
aromatic minus the aroma buko juice and the infamous biko.
Aside from all the perks and trainings received, I still got
a sort of self pity and work-acceptance issue. I thought that I there was more
to life than the tree of life. I reflect on my skills, knowledge and of course,
my salary. It was mere an amount to start building a home on my own. I often
felt inferior towards other people that are either rich or famous or had a
regular job in a private firm or in a government agency. The special treatment
I received I neglected, the relationships built I simply waived and destroyed
for my personal ambition. I stayed but did not get an item due to some
not-so-rational rationalization plan of the government. I left just as I was
going to be renewed. I was so selfish that I left the people who brought me in
to suffer the negative effects of my departure. They entrusted to me their time
and energy in teaching me how to become a great researcher like them and I
revoke everything in just an instant. It was a mistake I do admit that I
learned a lesson the hard way.
In a very long span of 4 months after I left, from nowhere,
in an instant there was an opening for a position of Science Research
Specialist II which was reserved for me in the past but never given to me due
to the RATPLAN. At this time, in a nutshell, I got a bad shot from my former
boss and the whole center in general seems to think I betrayed my boss. I
applied anyway but with the hopelessness of an illegitimate applicant and that
of a dropout. I just submitted in order to submit and just tried to apply. I
really never thought that the search committee would still consider me as far
as my application is concerned and yet I was wrong. I was interviewed in a very
special manner and among the applicants I was the only one given the chance to
be panel-interviewed via online.
I was really struck with one statement and question by my former
mentor, the division chief that served as my father in the center and my
attorney. He always gave me advices, insights and visions on the high prospects
of coconut and its applications. I learned to appreciate the crop by seeing
things through his eyes and convicted perspective. I was left in awe and
speechless when he said about the “bad impression” I left in the center. It was
a clock-stopping moment that I felt my heart beats double-time. I realized that
it was the one issue that I failed to reflect on because I was in denial to
admit that I did what I did. I hurt someone whom treated me the best. Humility
is a bit an understatement in order to simply ask for forgiveness. What I
really need is a big shot, a second chance to go back and prove my sincerity
and earned back the trust that I destroyed. I could not promise to be a perfect
apprentice but I would try my very best to earn his/their trust back and never
ever destroy it again. Never to put down people who never put you down but
helped you stood up most of the times. I remember a story in the bible about
the prodigal son who left to enjoy life that he thought was all about doing
what you want without discipline and virtues but most focused and
self-gratification and physical joys but failed to see the other side. At long
last, he realized his faults and asks for pardon without asking for any of the
past treatments to be given to him once again but the other side, the father
met him in the way and embraced him and celebrated his return. I believe I was
that prodigal son who let the center for personal gratification that I failed
to see the efforts of my fathers who really made me to become who I am now. I
do believe everyone has a prodigal son in them and every prodigal son deserves
a second chance.
I answered them with conviction and spoke my heart out. I am
sure I felt fulfilled just having that interview and answering those questions.
God now holds the answer on whether I am in or out. I am simply thankful for
the chance to apply and be treated as fairly as possible. I don’t expect to be
hired but I just pray to be readied in the possibilities.
Nothing to loose, I got a scholarship for a master’s degree,
a family to back me up and a future that is brighter than I could imagine it to
be and a God that I offer everything I do.
My primary adjustment was how to live in a dormitory. We
were assigned a new dormitory with the name New Dorm. But it was not new after all;
we were the first to occupy the 5-year old building. Imagine a dorm full of
freshmen from all walks of life and sort of personalities, from the jologs,
nerds, cool guys and gals, super friendly “vote-for-me” people who knows each dorm
mates by name. I got to try to learn how to wash my clothes, clean my room,
budget my money, budget my study time and I was not successful in everything
but I succeed in trying. I tried not to flank an exam, tried to attend all my
subjects but I also failed. However, I tried to enjoy my military science or
ROTC, and I got a 1 flat. It was a destiny I took for myself.
